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It is always interesting to look at old pictures. I am amazed at how much my grandchildren have grown in just one year. A couple of them are over 6 feet now and are still growing. I get a kink in my neck when I am talking to them. When I look back at their baby pictures, it seems like it was just yesterday that they were walking around in diapers with pacifiers in their mouths. Life sure has changed.

When we are babies, we only have one thing on our minds. We are in this world for one purpose only. Our needs and wants must be met. We don’t care if our parents need to sleep or if we make a mess for them to clean up. As long as we are satisfied, who cares about anyone else? Unfortunately, many of us never grow out of that stage. We hide it better, but it is often all about us. Many people feel their needs and wants must be met, no matter what it costs others. We never grow up. If we could see on the outside what people are like on the inside, there would be many older children and adults walking around with pacifiers and needing their diapers changed. I do believe that all of us need to grow up in one way or another. I hope I have at least reached the training-wheel stage on my bicycle. Mastering dying to self is a battle I often face. Some days I do, and some days I don’t.

We often have devotions at school on dying to self. One of the assignments I give to my students is to keep a count of every time they use the word “I”. Most of them give up pretty quickly. One student tried to stick with it, but after he counted over 50, he stopped. Although there are times we need to use the word “I”, most of the time we use it when we are talking about ourselves. I wanted to teach my students that to care about people, we need to learn about them. We need to be more concerned about others than ourselves.

I would guess that ninety percent of problems are the result of “I” being on the throne. I know it is in the school setting. We realize that drama, as well as other problems, is caused by people wanting their way in a situation. Many times, as a teacher, I investigate a problem, and it all boils down to someone or several “someones” wanting their way. For the very young children, it may be as simple as wanting to go first. As they get older, it is the same problem in disguise. Our goal is to help the students grow in this area alongside their academics. If a child graduates high school, still always wants to be first, and doesn’t care about others, the adults in their lives have failed him. He will not make a good husband, father, or employee. We never arrive, but by graduation, young people should be well on their way to defeating the “I” syndrome.

However, putting ourselves first doesn’t stop when we get out of school. I would venture to say that the “I” syndrome follows us until we die. It is a constant battle. The sad thing is we seem to get upset over such petty things. Sometimes problems need to be dealt with and worked out. But most of the time, we need to let things go. Knowing when to choose is a sign of maturity. Will dealing with this problem help the individual grow? Will it help the kingdom? Is it a battle worth fighting? When we take the “I” out of the picture, we can see more clearly. In I Corinthians 15:31b, Paul states, “I die daily.” If Paul has to die daily, I most certainly need to. I hate to admit that I find myself having to die many times a day. I can’t seem to give up the throne to God completely. I want to give Him 100 percent, but quite often I shove Him aside.

Sometimes the things we refuse to give up are not always bad; they are just not in the right priority. Matthew 10:37 states, “He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.” I have observed and heard of many situations in which parents come to blows over their children. Don’t get me wrong, if someone was walking in my door to hurt my child, I would do everything I could to stop them. However, we put our spouses, parents, and our children in the wrong priority when we put them above the Lord. Sometimes we have to say “no” because the request interferes with God’s plan for us, or we feel it is not what God would want our children to do. It doesn’t make us popular when we say no, but God has to come first.

God coming first doesn’t mean what you do for Him, but what you do with Him. To get to know God, we must spend time with Him. I have heard two messages on this topic recently, and they both ministered to my soul. To learn His will, we must read His Word and know what He commands us to do. It is our instruction manual. To know Him, we must spend time in prayer. However, to really know Him, we must become conscious that He is with us at all times. We don’t even have to be talking to Him. We just feel His presence. Sometimes my husband and I will be driving somewhere and won’t say a word, but we delight in being together. Isn’t it time we just delight in being with God?

If we delight in being with God, and we are conscious of the fact that He lives within us, it will become easier to die to self. The “I” syndrome will disappear. We won’t get upset over the petty. We will ask Him how to handle problems, because they will come. Jesus had many difficulties. Even though He was perfect, many people hated Him. He was crucified because He loved us. Isn’t it time we crucify the “I” in our lives and “go with Him all the way?”

“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

Dr. Worthington has five children and twelve grandchildren.  She serves as Principal of Pathway Christian Academy in Goldsboro.